2010 Is Almost Here

Well it's New Year's Eve and I'm sick! I caught the stomach bug that DH and FIL had last week and started puking last night. I took the day off from work to recuperate and I've alternated between playing online and napping. We had had plans to go up to our friends' house when DH got home from work, but obviously we had to cancel. So I guess it's a bum at home and watch the ball drop kind of night.

On that note...I can't believe another year has come and gone!! Where does the time go? Here is a list of big events from 2009 (at least the ones I can remember!):
January-Met with OBGYN to discuss why we weren't getting PG and what our options were
February-My BFF has her beautiful little girl and I was there for the whole thing!
May-I turned 28!!! Holy Cow!!
June-We have our first appt with our RE and face the fact that we are dealing with IF
August-Went to NH for a big family reunion with DH's side and met some awesome relatives.
August-Gave myself my first ever injection for IUI #1
August-Met a fabulous group of girls from the IF message board for a wonderful GTG in NYC!
September-My wonderful Aunt passed away and DH and I flew out to KS for the services. I'm going to miss her so much, she was my IF info go to person and a big source of support for us.
October-Celebrated our 6 year anniversary!!!
October-Another GTG in NYC with the girls!
November-Dad came to visit for Thankgiving and we went to see White Christmas on B'way in NYC. It was so much fun!
December-Switched insurance coverage to have better bennefits for IF...so freakin' relieved!!
December-Can't believe we are already to IUI #4 *crossing fingers for BFP*

Here's to hoping that 2010 brings us our rainbow and other wonderful things! Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas!

Today has been such a good day. I got some great gifts: two Wii games (one hunting, one fishing), a travel mug for my coffee, some dark chocolate hot chocolate. The best gift though was the digital camera I asked for! And the best part was it wasn't the one I thought I was getting, it was one better!!! I've been palying with it all day in between playing with the Wii games. We were supposed to go up to BIL and SIL's house but DH and FIL were both sick the last few days. So now we are going on Sunday and we will be having dinner up there also. Yay to extending Christmas! We may be going to MIL's house tomorrow, but not sure since we haven't heard from her.

Other than that DH and I are hoping for a Christmas miracle since we went for IUI #4 yesterday. I would be so awesome if this could be the one that works. I just keep hoping that the magic of the holiday will be the good luck that we need.

So Many Reasons To Be Excited

I found out today that IUI #4 will take place on Christmas Eve morning! We will also be doing TI on Christmas since the RE's office will be closed for the holiday. I'm really super excited and that alone is scaring me. Every one of our IUIs has fallen on some kinda of significant date, and now it's falling on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. How can you not have hope that this will be the one to work? How do you try to tell yourself to not get your hopes to high? And the worst part is knowing that if this one doesn't work out, it's going to be a really hard fall. But right now I'm not thinking about that, I'm enjoying the moment while it lasts and then we will deal with things when they come.

Otherwise we are pretty much ready for the holidays. All the gifts have been bought and the ones that needed to be mailed are on their way. The only real thing left to figure out is when we are going to BIL and SIL's house. It sounds like that will be in the afternoon since we might be eating an early dinner up there. Ahh the holidays...so stressful! lol

5 Days To Go...Let The Craziness Begin!

So today is officially 5 days until Christmas and the annual tradition of "Let's see how fast we can drive you crazy" has begun. BIL and SIL were just here and we were discussing the Christmas Eve/Christmas Day events timeline. It amazes me how many people it takes to plan a "simple" family gathering. Not only do we have to figure out when all the adults can be there, but we also have to figure out when all the kids will be present (BIL has a daughter from his first marriage that divides the day between two houses...been there...done that). Ahh the joy of the holidays! On a postive note: Our house looks awesome this year!
Hubby and BIL did a great job this year and we have gotten so many compliments by both the neighbors and just randome people driving by. One lady even told hubby, "For all of us who are too lazy, thank you very much!" LOL

On the IF front: We are gearing up for IUI #4 which will happen sometime this week. Hubby hopes it happens closer to Christmas so that we have to do TI (RE's is close Christmas Day) because he says that would be an awesome present. Boys. lol We went Saturday for monitoring, hubby went for the very first time. It was neat having him be there to see the u/s and what they are looking for and at. Since he's never been, he's also never seen my PCOS ovaries. The RE was so nice and took the time to point out what we were seeing when hubby asked where my ovary was after the RE mentioned it. The funniest thing was watching hubby's face as the RE started counting all the little cystic follies. Even after the RE explained that's what PCOS is, hubby says to me "We are so going to have multiples. Did you see all those things?!" lol Gotta love him!

It's Been Awhile

Quick update: About a week ago we found out that IUI #3 was a bust. So now we are working on number 4.

I went in for monitoring last week and the RE found three big cysts on my right ovary. She put me on bcp and I go back in this Friday for a f/u. Hopefully this time next week the cycle will be on and I'll be doing my Follistim shots. We are switching insurances next year and I'm worried about being mid-cycle when that happens. I finally have the info to call the new insurance and check coverage and asks questions. It's been nice though having a bff that works there too, I've been asking her every question I can think of!

Other than that: Thanksgiving was good. My dad came out from Kansas and it was nice to spend time with him. We even went to see Irving Berlin's White Christmas on Broadway, it was an amazing show! Hubby got the lights up with help from his brother, and a little from me. The house looks great and I love all the little twinkle lights this year. There is a little snow on the ground, but it will be so pretty when there is more...even though I really don't want too much more.

What A Day

This morning at work someone said they had heard there were a bunch of cops at one of the local high schools (Pine Plains). I figured it was another bomb threat since so many have been called in to the other two schools in the area. Next thing we know there is an overhead page with the code for an external disaster and we start thinking it's a drill. Our boss comes back to tell us that no, it's not a drill, there is an armed gunman at the school!! OMG! What the hell?? It's so crazy to realize that when they say "It can happen anywhere", they really mean it. To make the whole situation even better one of my coworkers has two sons that go to the school. I got chills every time I thought about that, I can't even imagine how she must have felt. Later I found out at least two other people I know from other departments had kids there too. The details are still coming out as to what and why, so I guess we'll know even more in the coming day. But no matter the reason, there was NO excuse for what this guy did!!! To top off the great start to the day, it ended by my boss proving that, even though he's changing things...nothings changed!! Gah!!!

I go in tomorrow morning for monitoring to check on a couple of follies we saw yesterday. I think one was 12 cm and the other was 14 cm. Hopefully those are the only two that have kept growing and not too many (or any) of their little friends. Crossing my fingers that IUI #3 is just a few days away!!

IUI #3...GO!

I started my Follistim injections again tonight. I can't believe we are on number three already. It felt like it took forever to get started into the first IUI and I just can't believe we are already to number three! (Pause for screaming..just saw the New Moon/Volvo ad..ok back to blog) The other thing I can't believe...my weight! I know I heard people say they gained some due to the hormones, but HOLY CRAP! I really don't think it's all that much...yet...but it's still enough that I have started to notice. Gah! As if I don't have enough to stress about, now I get to add that to my plate. Joy!

Trick or Treat FedEx Guy!

Today I got my goodie box delivered by FedEx. I set my alarm for 10:00 this morning so that I would be up and ready for the delivery. I only had to wait an hour and a half for FedEx to get here and I think I kinda scared the delivery guy too. I thought I heard a noise outside, so I got up to look and saw the truck out front. Before he could knock or anything, heck he was still about three feet from the porch, I opened the door. I had to resist the urge to say "Trick or treat", which was the funny idea that popped into my head right before he got here. lol My goodie box had three 600 unit Follistim cartridges, a huge bottle of Prometrium and my Ovidrel trigger. It's strange how happy I still get to get these packages. I guess I see it as hope that maybe this cycle will work and that we have another chance at reaching out goal. *crossing my fingers*

Stupid BFN

So Monday I had my Beta drawn and the results were supposed to be sent "stat" I made sure to point this out to the lab tech and then went on my way, anxiously waiting for a phone call. And I waited...and waited....and waited...and waited! Finally at 3:24 I called the RE's office. Three attempts and 15 minutes later I found out that they had only received ONE of the three levels they were supposed to get...and it wasn't even my beta!!! The lady said she had put in for the lab to do the rest of the tests, I guess they still had my blood?? After getting off the phone with them I called over to the lab (it's in the hospital where I work) I talked to someone about what the HELL was going on?! She said she was going to look into it and also called my RE's office. Later she called back and said the results would be ready in about two hours. Fabulous! My RE's office closed 30 minutes ago!!!!!! However I did get a phone call around 5ish from the lady I had talked to there who said that she would call me first thing in the morning with the results. So now I'm back to waiting......finally couldn't take it anymore at 10:30 and called! The RE's office was short some people so that was why I hadn't heard anything (completely understandable) and someone would call me back. Got the call shortly after, and the results...BFN! Got my instructions to stop my progesterone supp.s and wait for AF to show up so that we can start IUI cycle #3. So now it's time to do some more waiting......

Rainy Saturday

I've been on Prometrium supp.s since the day after the second IUI and let me tell you...I am EXAUSTED! All week I have been looking forward to today so that I could just sleep in and recharge my batteries. Well I successfully completed that goal today by not getting up until amost 11:30. It was so nice not to have to be up early or have anywhere to be. The down side to getting up that late is that we have no motivation to really do anything. We had talked about maybe trying to get more painting done, but that didn't happen. Now I'm wondering when we are going to get ready and head out to dinner because I'm starting to get hungery. Tomorrow is my get together with a groupd of girls from the message board I'm on and I'm pretty excited about it. It was a lot of fun last time, and I know it will be again. Still trying to not think about my beta on Monday but, with it getting closer it's getting harder to push to the back of my mind.

Work Is Hell!

We have a new boss and of course people are acting really stupid. All the slackers are now trying to kiss major ass and act like they have always been the best employee ever. Even my co-worker is trying to act like he has always been the boss in the office, when the fact is, he has been enjoying the extra cash and not fulfilling any of the duites of the title. Hell at this point I manage it more than he does! It's so aggrivating!! Plus the stress is so not what I need right now...damn it! lol I'm less than four days from my beta test. Oddly enough I've managed to not think about it too much...well maybe just not as much as last time. I think it's because last time was the first time and it was all so exciting. I have had to catch myself and try not too get too over opptimistic. I hate that I can't even be excited about what might be happening. If I let myself get too hopeful and it's negative, that just leads to an even bigger crash back to reality. I am very much looking forward to a night out tomorrow with my Friday night dates, we haven't seen each other in weeks! I just hope that I don't poop out early, damn suppliments have me so wiped out.

2dpB2Biui

It's been two days since we had our back to back IUIs and I'm really trying not to think about how long it is until I have my bloodwork drawn. I went in for monitoring on Saturday 10-10 after being on Follistim at 50ius for two days. I was worried about the fact that the previous u/s showed too many follies growing. However, this one showed a nice 16mm follie on the left and a big, healthy 23mm on the right!! The nurse gave me my Ovidrell trigger right there in the office, it hurt a bit more then when I gave myself the shot last time. After that I got my instructions for my IUIs for the next two days. Hubby was not very pleased that he would have to be getting up at the buttcrack of dawn for two days, but he was still excited. So Sunday it was off to Norwalk, CT at o' dark-thirty, aka 6:15 am. We made it to the office around 7:45, and after hubby did his thing, we hung out waiting for the procedure. We even took some time to ponder the origins of the "materials" in the rooms for the guys and had a few good laughs. Around 9:15 they called us back into the room, then after a little lamp issue (the one in the room didn't work and they had to find another...it lead to jokes about usuing cellphones as flashlights..too funny!) it was all done. We went out to dinner that night with our friends who were celebrating their first anniversary and also to celebrate our anniversary which was the next day. Monday morning arrived bright and early, and it was off to Danbury this time for a 7:45 appointment. We had the procedure done around 9:15 (it was the magic time for this cycle lol). It was hard trying not to read too much into the fact that we were having our IUI done on our anniversary, but maybe it will be better luck than having it done on 9-9-09 was. The rest of our 6th anniversary was spent climbing in and around WWII planes, which was totally kick ass! Then we went to dinner at our usual anniversary spot, Red Lobster (I had a 1/2 pound of snow crab legs with coconut shirmp..yummmm!!). Right now we are on vacay and have been working on painting the bathroom and hallway, tomorrow we will hopefully go pick up the paint and start putting it on the walls.

Good News/Bad News

Today I went for another u/s and b/w to see how my body was responding to my injections. The good news is that I have some follies growing and I'm excited to know that the medicine is working so quickly. However, the bad news is that there are too many growing. My RE said in the begining that if there were any more than three that grew he would have to cancel the cycle. The RE I saw today decided to dial back my dose, from 150 units to 50, to see if that would cause some of the follies to drop off. I'm guessing that with less medication to absorb only the biggest ones will continue growing..maybe? I really have no idea how this works, but I just hope it does. I'll find out Saturday if we've made any progress one way or the other. *crossing my fingers*

Another Busy Day

After cleaning half the living room yesterday, hubby felt it necessary to do the other half today. I managed to stay out of it for a while but, then I got sucked in. It all gets so overwhelming when you see all this stuff lying around that you know you want to keep, but that you have no idea where you are going to put it. So while the room looks good for the most part, there is still stuff piled on the couch and on the floor next to me. But at least it's a start. Gotta head to bed kinda early, or at least try to, since it's off to the RE's in the am. It's so hard to get up at 5am and be on the road by 6, but I know it's all worth it. Plus I think of this kind of like training, some day I'll be getting up at 5 and 6am to take care of my baby. I am very much looking forward to that day. :)

Good Start To The Weekend

Today started out kinda blah and lazy. Hubby had mentioned back when we got my bookshelf that it would be neat to make a reading corner next to it. I was game but figured, like most of his ideas, it would never happen. Well today he says, "Hey, want to move your glider into your reading corner?" My first response was, "um..I guess so" because let's face it, after sitting around in my pj's on a cloudy Saturday...who really wants to do anything?? lol But after some very yummy coffee I had the energy to help out. We spent about 4 hours cleaning: the floor, the glider, the end table, everything! Now I have my little nook, needs a lamp, but otherwise it is complete. We are going to be heading out to get dinner, burgers..yay!, so I have to take my injection. I've been on Follistim since Thursday at 150 IUs, which is 25 units less than what I was at when my follies grew last cycle. I go in on Monday for u/s and b/w to check progress. Also they are going to check on some cysts the RE saw, he said it's not unusual to have them and they are left over from when the follicle ruptured to release the eggs. So hopefully they are gone or going away, and that they don't cause any problems. Well, hubby is outta the shower, off to get some chow!

One Of Those Days

I've been able to stay pretty positive through this whole thing so far. There were a few days where things really got to me, after it seemed like weeks of stiming just weren't going to work. I got frustrated, upset, a little depressed and in there somewhere I'm sure was fear and anger. Well today I had someone say something pretty hurtful, and I don't think they even realize what they said. One of my co-workers, who I've worked with for over four years now, I have stopped sharing info with. We joke around a lot and say plenty of inappropriate things, but when he told a patient one day "You'll have to ignore her, she on hormone shots because she's trying to have a baby." Um yeah...so not something you tell a total stranger! Well today was the first day I've worked with him since finding out my bloodwork came back negative on Friday. I went to go to the bathroom and had to go in to the closet to get my carry bag for my pads, I call it Aunt Flo's travel bag. As I am grabbing it he says to me "Oh I guess that means you're not pregnant hu." Way to be tactful about it there dude! Naturally I thought of a great comeback *after* I had walked away, but I didn't think it had really bothered me that much. After I came back to the office one of my friends was talking to me and I told her what he said and that's when the tears came. She said she was sorry and that it was ok to be upset because it hurts to no get something you want so badly. I'm so glad she was there for me when I really needed someone to offer kind words.

Other than that, tomorrow is CD 3 and I'm off at the buttcrack of dawn to the RE's. As far as I know I start back on my Follistim injections Thursday, strangely looking forward to that! :)

CD 1..again

Today was the start of another cycle, unfortunately. Hubby and I are making our way down this crazy road called infertility, and today is the first day of IUI cycle number 2. I've never been really good at keep up on something like this but I think it would be a good idea to keep a record of this time of my life. Maybe one day I'll get to share this with my child and show them just how much love went into making them.