Walking In The Rain

Today was the American Heart Association Heart Walk and there seems to be a pattern to the weather surrounding it. The first year was cold, the second year it poured, and last year, third year, it was cold but dry (it had rained in the morning but stopped for the walk). And this year the pattern stayed true, it rained...but was also cold and windy. Hubby wasn't too thrilled that I walked, even though it was only the 2 mile track and not the full 4 miles. He's so cute ever since I got pregnant, but it's also boardering on annoying at times. I know he is only looking out for me and doesn't want anything to happen, but I really can't just stop living and hide inside all the time either. Hell at this point after what happened the other day, I'm lucky he lets me lift a piece of paper! lol But I love that he is attentive and caring, well more than he was before.



I can't wait until Monday when we have our u/s. I'm excited and scared all at the same time. I hate that this can't just be exciting but this is what infertility has done to me. It's made me doubt the good things because there haven't been too many up to this point. I know that four IUIs that didn't work isn't much in respect to what others may have done, but it was enough to make me so afraid to have faith in our IVF working. It's also been enough to make me afraid to get too excited that I am finally pregnant because I'm afraid it will jinx it. I know it seems silly, but those are the thoughts that cross my mind. I just have to keep telling myself, I AM pregnant and I WILL hold my baby one day soon.

Scare Today

Today is 5wks 2d and it was a rough one. As I was getting ready to leave work I moved a box that was in my way. I picked it up in one hand, not expecting it to be as heavy as it was. When I got home and went to the bathroom about 30 minutes later, there was blood on my pad. If I remember right I believe my exact words where "WHOA!" It seemed to go away as I wiped and was barely there when I went again a little while later. I did a litttle online looking and, after a little internal debate, I called the RE's office who paged someone for me. The lady who called made me feel better by reasuring me that spotting was "normal" and that it was a good sign it seemed to have stoped. She said she would email my RE's office and have them call me in the morning about possibly coming in sooner for an u/s to check on things. I feel a little silly for panicing and calling, but it also gave me some peace of mind too. We'll see what they say tomorrow. Right now I'm feeling better since there hasn't been any more signs of spotting, plus I had two chocolate cookies. lol

Other than that: Work was work with the same crap. I forgot to mention one pregnancy symptom and that is the wicked sore boobs...oh so much fun! Also my sciatica has decided to act up from me sleeping on one side for the last few night....joy!

Still Trying to Wrap My Head Around It

According to the "IVF Due Date Calculator" today I am 5 weeks and 1 day pregnant. That is still just so bizzare!! Even stranger...if they are correct the baby's heart will start beating tomorrow. Our first ultrasound is scheduled for next Monday and we should get to hear it then. I am praying everything is still going well and progressing the way it should. It seems so strange that I haven't had b/w or u/s since last week after months of monitoring and appointments nearly every other day. When you are used to constant updates and progress reports, having to wait a week for this u/s is torture! And then when I get into the actual prenatal stuff it is going to seem so strange because there will be so much time inbetween appointments and things.

Right now the only "symptoms" I would say I am noticing is just being tired and my tummy is kinda funky. I feel queasy when I get full and I haven't felt like puking (yet) but my stomach definately feels sick when I have to go to the bathroom. No cravings, no scents send me running, nothing has caused a completely irrational emotional outburst....yet! lol

Long Overdue Update

It has been WAY too long since I've updated!! Back on Feb. 5 I started my injects for IVF#1: 225 ius of Follistim and one vial of Menopur daily. My first u/s and b/w came on the 8th and things looked good and so did the next check up two day later. In fact the lady doing the u/s said she thought I would be an "above average responder"...sweet! I was feeling kinda crappy and sick when I went in for my third monitoring and as I was getting the u/s the RE kept calling out measurements of follicles. There were some that were 15 and 16, but when she started saying 18 and 19 and even a 22 I started to wonder how the smaller ones were going to get to catch up when there were some already in the "ideal" range. The RE consulted the paper and then said "Well I think tonights the night!" I about fell of the u/s table! I couldn't believe that I had stimmed for only a week and was now ready to trigger for my retrieval, which would be in two day. My RE had originally thought I would be stimming for longer than most people do, but for once I got to be "normal"! So the day of my ER arrived, Valentine's Day no less, and all went well. I had to ask a couple times to make sure I heard right, but they got 21 eggs..that was awesome! The next day we got our fertilization report, of the 21 eggs 15 had fertilized normally and the day after that the embryologist called with the second report. All 15 divided normally and 2 more they didn't think had made it had also divided, so we were now up to 17 embryos and set to do a 5 day transfer. Hubby and I now had to decided on how many embryos to transfer, one or two. We had pretty much made up our minds on transfering two when the RE called the morning of ET and strongly suggested only transfering one. We litterally made the decision while I was sitting on the table in the little OR room. We ended up transfering one 4AA blast and I was then placed on 36 hours of bed rest aka torture. I could only get up to go to the bathroom and to eat, then it was either back on the couch, in the recliner or in bed. We had to wait an agonizing week and a half for the blood test that would tell me if I was pregnant or not. On the 5th day after transfer I had some spotting that scared me, but it was gone later the next day. On March 1st I had my blood drawn and when the nurse called, which felt like a life time later, she gave me the news...I was pregnant!!! Hubby was totally in shock when I called him and we both still can't believe it's really happening. I had a second blood test and my numbers had all gone up like they were supposed to. Monday March 15th is our first u/s and we should get to hear a heartbeat. It is so surreal to say that out loud (well in writting), and I keep waiting for it all to sink in. For now I will just sit back and take this all one day at a time, and I just have to keep telling myself...I am finally pregnant!!!!