Today was the American Heart Association Heart Walk and there seems to be a pattern to the weather surrounding it. The first year was cold, the second year it poured, and last year, third year, it was cold but dry (it had rained in the morning but stopped for the walk). And this year the pattern stayed true, it rained...but was also cold and windy. Hubby wasn't too thrilled that I walked, even though it was only the 2 mile track and not the full 4 miles. He's so cute ever since I got pregnant, but it's also boardering on annoying at times. I know he is only looking out for me and doesn't want anything to happen, but I really can't just stop living and hide inside all the time either. Hell at this point after what happened the other day, I'm lucky he lets me lift a piece of paper! lol But I love that he is attentive and caring, well more than he was before.
I can't wait until Monday when we have our u/s. I'm excited and scared all at the same time. I hate that this can't just be exciting but this is what infertility has done to me. It's made me doubt the good things because there haven't been too many up to this point. I know that four IUIs that didn't work isn't much in respect to what others may have done, but it was enough to make me so afraid to have faith in our IVF working. It's also been enough to make me afraid to get too excited that I am finally pregnant because I'm afraid it will jinx it. I know it seems silly, but those are the thoughts that cross my mind. I just have to keep telling myself, I AM pregnant and I WILL hold my baby one day soon.
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