Walking In The Rain

Today was the American Heart Association Heart Walk and there seems to be a pattern to the weather surrounding it. The first year was cold, the second year it poured, and last year, third year, it was cold but dry (it had rained in the morning but stopped for the walk). And this year the pattern stayed true, it rained...but was also cold and windy. Hubby wasn't too thrilled that I walked, even though it was only the 2 mile track and not the full 4 miles. He's so cute ever since I got pregnant, but it's also boardering on annoying at times. I know he is only looking out for me and doesn't want anything to happen, but I really can't just stop living and hide inside all the time either. Hell at this point after what happened the other day, I'm lucky he lets me lift a piece of paper! lol But I love that he is attentive and caring, well more than he was before.



I can't wait until Monday when we have our u/s. I'm excited and scared all at the same time. I hate that this can't just be exciting but this is what infertility has done to me. It's made me doubt the good things because there haven't been too many up to this point. I know that four IUIs that didn't work isn't much in respect to what others may have done, but it was enough to make me so afraid to have faith in our IVF working. It's also been enough to make me afraid to get too excited that I am finally pregnant because I'm afraid it will jinx it. I know it seems silly, but those are the thoughts that cross my mind. I just have to keep telling myself, I AM pregnant and I WILL hold my baby one day soon.

Scare Today

Today is 5wks 2d and it was a rough one. As I was getting ready to leave work I moved a box that was in my way. I picked it up in one hand, not expecting it to be as heavy as it was. When I got home and went to the bathroom about 30 minutes later, there was blood on my pad. If I remember right I believe my exact words where "WHOA!" It seemed to go away as I wiped and was barely there when I went again a little while later. I did a litttle online looking and, after a little internal debate, I called the RE's office who paged someone for me. The lady who called made me feel better by reasuring me that spotting was "normal" and that it was a good sign it seemed to have stoped. She said she would email my RE's office and have them call me in the morning about possibly coming in sooner for an u/s to check on things. I feel a little silly for panicing and calling, but it also gave me some peace of mind too. We'll see what they say tomorrow. Right now I'm feeling better since there hasn't been any more signs of spotting, plus I had two chocolate cookies. lol

Other than that: Work was work with the same crap. I forgot to mention one pregnancy symptom and that is the wicked sore boobs...oh so much fun! Also my sciatica has decided to act up from me sleeping on one side for the last few night....joy!

Still Trying to Wrap My Head Around It

According to the "IVF Due Date Calculator" today I am 5 weeks and 1 day pregnant. That is still just so bizzare!! Even stranger...if they are correct the baby's heart will start beating tomorrow. Our first ultrasound is scheduled for next Monday and we should get to hear it then. I am praying everything is still going well and progressing the way it should. It seems so strange that I haven't had b/w or u/s since last week after months of monitoring and appointments nearly every other day. When you are used to constant updates and progress reports, having to wait a week for this u/s is torture! And then when I get into the actual prenatal stuff it is going to seem so strange because there will be so much time inbetween appointments and things.

Right now the only "symptoms" I would say I am noticing is just being tired and my tummy is kinda funky. I feel queasy when I get full and I haven't felt like puking (yet) but my stomach definately feels sick when I have to go to the bathroom. No cravings, no scents send me running, nothing has caused a completely irrational emotional outburst....yet! lol

Long Overdue Update

It has been WAY too long since I've updated!! Back on Feb. 5 I started my injects for IVF#1: 225 ius of Follistim and one vial of Menopur daily. My first u/s and b/w came on the 8th and things looked good and so did the next check up two day later. In fact the lady doing the u/s said she thought I would be an "above average responder"...sweet! I was feeling kinda crappy and sick when I went in for my third monitoring and as I was getting the u/s the RE kept calling out measurements of follicles. There were some that were 15 and 16, but when she started saying 18 and 19 and even a 22 I started to wonder how the smaller ones were going to get to catch up when there were some already in the "ideal" range. The RE consulted the paper and then said "Well I think tonights the night!" I about fell of the u/s table! I couldn't believe that I had stimmed for only a week and was now ready to trigger for my retrieval, which would be in two day. My RE had originally thought I would be stimming for longer than most people do, but for once I got to be "normal"! So the day of my ER arrived, Valentine's Day no less, and all went well. I had to ask a couple times to make sure I heard right, but they got 21 eggs..that was awesome! The next day we got our fertilization report, of the 21 eggs 15 had fertilized normally and the day after that the embryologist called with the second report. All 15 divided normally and 2 more they didn't think had made it had also divided, so we were now up to 17 embryos and set to do a 5 day transfer. Hubby and I now had to decided on how many embryos to transfer, one or two. We had pretty much made up our minds on transfering two when the RE called the morning of ET and strongly suggested only transfering one. We litterally made the decision while I was sitting on the table in the little OR room. We ended up transfering one 4AA blast and I was then placed on 36 hours of bed rest aka torture. I could only get up to go to the bathroom and to eat, then it was either back on the couch, in the recliner or in bed. We had to wait an agonizing week and a half for the blood test that would tell me if I was pregnant or not. On the 5th day after transfer I had some spotting that scared me, but it was gone later the next day. On March 1st I had my blood drawn and when the nurse called, which felt like a life time later, she gave me the news...I was pregnant!!! Hubby was totally in shock when I called him and we both still can't believe it's really happening. I had a second blood test and my numbers had all gone up like they were supposed to. Monday March 15th is our first u/s and we should get to hear a heartbeat. It is so surreal to say that out loud (well in writting), and I keep waiting for it all to sink in. For now I will just sit back and take this all one day at a time, and I just have to keep telling myself...I am finally pregnant!!!!

Got Meds For IVF #1

When I saw all the list of meds I would be using for IVF #1 I got a little overwhelmed. Well, today I got the actual box of meds....holy crap!! I had seen other girls on the message board talk about or even put pictures up of their meds but until now I never realized just how many there were! Thankfully this all won't require multipul injections, only one...at least I think only one for now. The nurse explained how I would reconstitute the Menopur and then add my Follistim to that vial and the mixed meds would be drawn into a syringe for one injection. She made it sound like quite a bit could be mixed into the vial so that is good. The less needles I have to stick myself with the better!

Fourth Time Is Not A Charm

So apparently the Christmas spirit didn't make any difference on our last IUI...it was negative. It's a very strange feeling to be sitting in a car dealership, waiting for you truck to get an oil change and getting you Beta results. Although I do have to say it forced me to keep it together, nothing like bursting into tears and having people wonder what the hell is going on! Now I am waiting for AF to get here and I go in for CD3 monitoring. We are also going in on the 18th for an appointment with the RE for a "Ok what do we do next" meeting, at which I'm pretty sure we are going to talk about going to IVF. It seems so strange, scarey, and exciting all at the same time to think that we are on our way to that. I just can't believe a year ago we knew nothing of all this, we just knew that we were waiting for February so we could tell the OBGYN that it had been a year off BCPs and get our next steps.

Nothing really planed for the day. We are going out later to look at phones for me, and I'm pretty sure I will be coming home with a new one. Yay! :) Other than that, we might go up to our friends' house, but we aren't sure.

I'm Eating Again!!

Yesterday was the big day...I got out of the house and started eating more than just toast and soup! Yay! It's been snowing every day since Thursday and today has been the worst. It's snowed all day ranging from teeny, tiny flakes to great big ones. For the most part though it's been pretty steady and I'd say we got about 2 inches or so. DH and I went out and tried to go to a fireplace store but they were closed so we tried another one that was also closed. Basically we went 20 minutes south, turned around drove 20 minutes back north, then went another 15 minutes farther north...all for nothing! lol After that we went shopping across the river at Gander Mountain, which is where I discovered I was missing my phone!! AHHHHH! DH tried calling it but we didn't hear anything, and I thought I might have knocked it out of my purse when we were still at home. Some how though I was convinced it was laying in the driveway. So when we got home I checked the driveway where I got in the truck and in the living room...nothing. I got DH's phone and called mine and still didn't hear anything. So I bundled back up, stepped out onto the porch and saw a glow in the snow!! My poor little phone was burried under about a 1/2 inch of snow and was soooo cold. After wiping it off, making sure the battery compartment didn't get wet and letting it warm up it still works just fine. Yay!! Although this was perfect timing because according to Verizone I'm eligible for an upgrade as of tomorrow! lol I know I am getting a new phone but I just have to figure out how much it's going to cost me...I really, really, REALLY want a Droid!

On the IF front not much is going on. We are (mostly) patiently waiting for Friday when I go in for my Beta. Once again I don't "feel pregnant", but I guess at the same time I don't "feel not pregnant". At least I know that we have our new insurance and authorization in place for IVF if/when it comes to that. It is such a relief to know we have that. Seriously I almost cried when the first lady gave me our ID number and then when the second gave me my auth numbers. So for now it's sit...and wait...and shove Prometrium in myself...and try to hold out for Friday.